Thriving Under Fire Blog

John Faisandier

Recent Posts

You don't need to fight! Here's how you can switch your brain from emotional to rational.

Posted by John Faisandier on Jan 29, 2018 8:03:00 AM

A couple are commuting to work in their car. There is an easiness between them as they drive along the highway. She, quite innocently, raises the unresolved issue about the high cost of their upcoming holiday.

He experiences this question as an attack. He tenses up and goes silent. That's his usual way of coping when emotions like this arise in him. In that moment he thinks of her and this question as 100% the cause of his uncomfortable feelings.

Read More

Topics: Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Upset People

How One Man Defused a Situation with One Very Simple Skill... 

Posted by John Faisandier on Jan 18, 2018 11:41:22 AM

It's very easy to respond to aggression with aggression... but what if we reacted differently?

Read More

Topics: Angry, APE, Emotion, Physical Reactions, Sceptical, Upset People

November 2017 Public Workshop Wellington

Posted by John Faisandier on Oct 27, 2017 1:11:09 PM

The next public workshop will be held on

Thursdays November 2nd and 9th 2017

Read More

Topics: Workshops

Three things you can do when someone asks for advice

Posted by John Faisandier on May 15, 2017 3:05:50 PM

(Reading time: 3 minutes)

Read More

Topics: Difficult Conversations, Drama Triangle, Emotional Intelligence, Emotional intelligence, Emotions, EQ, Giving advice, Trust the other

Two keys for good relationships and customer service.

Posted by John Faisandier on Apr 12, 2017 4:11:04 PM

The two key things that make a successful long-term relationship and help in customer service.

Read More

Topics: Difficult customers, Emotional intelligence, Emotions, Relationships, Upset People

Improve your Emotional Intelligence

Posted by John Faisandier on Oct 4, 2016 1:59:38 PM

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) a concept first coined by Daniel Goleman, can be learnt and improved.

Read More

Topics: customer service, Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotional intelligence, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Self-Care, Upset People

Say 'NO' to zero tolerance in customer service

Posted by John Faisandier on Oct 4, 2016 1:56:27 PM

In a recent review of the TUF Online Training program the writer was pleased that I did not advocate zero tolerance: not letting customers swear or show any kind of aggression. Organisations with a zero tolerance policy towards customers tell people not to swear. If the customer persists in swearing they terminate the call or stop serving them and ask them to leave the premises.

Read More

Topics: customer service, Difficult customers, Emotions, Upset People

You don't have to fight!

Posted by John Faisandier on Sep 13, 2016 11:32:53 AM

The biggest challenge in dealing with difficult situations is to first of all manage your own emotional reactions to them. It is easy to see the other person as difficult and to blame them for your uncomfortable feelings. Acknowledging and accepting your own feelings to yourself is an important first step to making a positive response to someone who you find challenging.

Read More

Topics: Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Computers can't do customer service...

Posted by John Faisandier on Jun 22, 2015 2:04:24 PM
Computers just don't get it!
Read More

Topics: Acknowledge Feelings, customer service, Difficult customers, Emotion, Emotions, Listening, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Turning towards, against or away

Posted by John Faisandier on Feb 11, 2015 1:53:14 PM

Three actions that help or hinder happy holidays.

Read More

Topics: Emotions, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Managing Emotions

Learn to deal with difficult customers, colleagues, family and friends

You probably didn't learn these skills at home, and I bet school wasn't much help either. You can develop the skills and understanding to manage the everyday emotional communication challenges through the regular postings on this blog. 

You can:

  • Access free tips to help you
  • Change the way you interact with people
  • Learn to stay calm and in control
  • Build more satisfying relationship
  • Be more relaxed in yourself
  • Enjoy your work more

Subscribe to Email Updates

Recent Posts