I’m OK, You’re OK. These life positions are chosen by a child when they are between two and three years old. The most common position chosen is “I’m not OK, You’re OK”. That is “I am little, I can’t do a lot of things, I can’t express myself clearly, I am clumsy and need lots of help from you, my parents and caregivers. “You, on the other hand, always help me. You clean me up, you can reach things, you feed me, you give me cuddles and you love me. You are OK.” This is the position a person lives with until they consciously change it. Many people don’t like the discomfort of this position and unconsciously try to overcome that by ‘acting as if’ they are OK. No matter how hard they try to do things well and be OK deep down they feel ‘not OK’. This life position becomes a problem when there is a conflict, such as when a customer is upset. If the customer takes the superior position they will act as if ‘they are OK’. They might rant and rave. They may complain loudly. The person on the receiving end will act according to their life script and act as if ‘I’m not OK’. More next time on what we can do about it.
Posted by John Faisandier on 7th May, 2008