TUF Blog

How One Man Defused a Situation with One Very Simple Skill...

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Wed, 17 Jan 2018 22:41:22 GMT

It's very easy to respond to aggression with aggression... but what if we reacted differently?

Alan was out shopping one weekend and couldn’t find a car park anywhere. Since he would only be a few minutes he decided to take a risk and park across the driveway of the business next door to the shop he was visiting.

When he returned to his car, Alan found one very angry business owner, shouting and swearing at him for blocking the driveway and preventing access to his business.

At first Alan was taken aback. His usual reaction would be to fire a rebuttal straight back at the guy. That would have led to a shouting match and he would have driven off in a rage, even though it was his fault the guy was upset in the first place.

But Alan didn’t do that. Instead he remembered the key message from the first session of the TUF workshop he did the week before:

"Acknowledge the Emotion"

Instead of yelling back at the business owner, Alan acknowledged and validated the reason for his aggression. "I guess it must be pretty frustrating having people park here all the time, I'm really sorry".

Surprisingly for Alan, it worked! He was amazed how quickly the guy calmed down. "It was almost instant" Alan exclaimed during the second workshop session a couple of days later.

“I didn’t really believe it when you told us this last week but I can see that it really does work”.

"Never in the history of calming down, has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down"

As with any new way of thinking, a little scepticism is normal, but the proof is in the results. The simple task of acknowledging the feelings of an aggressor, complainant or simply a difficult customer could be the difference between an escalating situation and a peaceful resolution.

Try it! and share your successes with us here at TUF.

Personal problems at work cause stress

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 00:00:00 GMT

John Kirwan was one of the most devastating wingers that New Zealand and world rugby had ever seen. A prominent and revered figure at the dawn of the professional age of rugby, he seemed to live a charmed life. But he did have personal problems at work.

Workplace bullying - even the word causes stress

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 00:04:00 GMT

Workplace bullying is destructive. Some people act in a 'bullying way' when they are understress. When teams have training in emotional intelligence and gain the skills to manage heightened emotions there are fewer problems with bullying.

Angry customers - the unseen hazard

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Fri, 24 Nov 2017 00:17:46 GMT

On Monday 1^st September 2014 an extremely distressed client walked into the Work and Income office in Ashburton, New Zealand, and shot two of the front line workers.

All the staff at that office were working under stress and the client was even more stressed. None of them had the skills to manage his anger over time until he finally cracked and the results were tragic. While the harm done in this situation was clearly visible and extreme, there are many workplaces where the damage from stress is not so obvious, but can be nearly as destructive.

Workplace stress - a health and safety issue

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 22:37:17 GMT

Health and safety - law and mental stress.

Laws tell us that we must keep workers safe and healthy at work, this includes avoiding mental stress. Managers can be proactive in reducing workplace stress through a well organised workplace, and by training themselves and their teams to communicate well when emotions are raised.

November 2017 Public Workshop Wellington

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Fri, 27 Oct 2017 00:11:09 GMT

The next public workshop will be held on

Thursdays November 2nd and 9th 2017

Three things you can do when someone asks for advice

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Mon, 15 May 2017 03:05:50 GMT

(Reading time: 3 minutes)

Two keys for good relationships and customer service.

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Wed, 12 Apr 2017 04:11:04 GMT

The two key things that make a successful long-term relationship and help in customer service.

Improve your Emotional Intelligence

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Tue, 04 Oct 2016 00:59:38 GMT

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) a concept first coined by Daniel Goleman, can be learnt and improved.

Say 'NO' to zero tolerance in customer service

john@tuf.co.nz (John Faisandier) — Tue, 04 Oct 2016 00:56:27 GMT

In a recent review of the TUF Online Training program the writer was pleased that I did not advocate zero tolerance: not letting customers swear or show any kind of aggression. Organisations with a zero tolerance policy towards customers tell people not to swear. If the customer persists in swearing they terminate the call or stop serving them and ask them to leave the premises.