Thriving Under Fire Blog

Saying how they feel

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:08:37 AM

When I rang my friend in Christchurch the other night, his 13 year old son answered the phone. “You must have got quite a shake up by the earthquake” I said. “Nah, not really, it was nothing”, he shot back offhandedly. I was taken aback but didn't pursue the conversation at the time.
Later his father told me that he had stopped his son making inappropriate jokes about the earthquake. At that point I saw clearly how this was the boy’s way of dealing with the scary shake.

It’s not unusual for a 13 year old boy to pretend his is not scared. He certainly wouldn’t want to cry so telling jokes is a good way to avoid that.

There are many reasons why people can’t say directly what is affecting them. They express their emotions ‘sideways’ which can be off-putting if you are on the receiving end. Be patient, keep accepting the other person no matter what, don’t push them to tell you how they are feeling and when they are ready they may share what is really worrying them.

First posted by john@faisandier on 3rd March, 2011
Tags: emotionstressgriefreactionsearthquake

Topics: Emotion, Emotions, Grief, Listening, Natural Disaster, Reactions, Stress

Managing Emotions

Learn to deal with difficult customers, colleagues, family and friends

You probably didn't learn these skills at home, and I bet school wasn't much help either. You can develop the skills and understanding to manage the everyday emotional communication challenges through the regular postings on this blog. 

You can:

  • Access free tips to help you
  • Change the way you interact with people
  • Learn to stay calm and in control
  • Build more satisfying relationship
  • Be more relaxed in yourself
  • Enjoy your work more

Subscribe to Email Updates

Recent Posts