Setting boundaries is a real challenge if you want to build strong relationships with colleagues, especially if you are a manager.
How many monkeys are on your back?
A listener can be tempted to take on the problems of those they listen to. They can end up carrying everyone’s problems without realising what they have done.
I was doing a big ‘download’ recently with a friend. I seemed to have a jumble of problems that I needed to name out loud. At first he offered a suggestion to each thing I said: “Have you tried this…” or “It could help if you …”
Listening can be the hardest part of a being a great manager or colleague.
There is always a lot going on in the other person’s life that they are trying to understand, make sense of and cope with.
Marilyn the manager was exasperated.
“If we can’t blame people for screwing things up how are we ever going to hold people accountable? The place will descend into chaos” she moaned.
Why blame is such a silly thing to do!
A story in the Dominion Post this morning (February 4, 2013) sparked my interest. It is fifty years since a young man, high on alcohol and tranquilizers shot two policemen in cold blood.
He served over 11 years in jail and another 10 years on probation and has since lived a productive life, it would appear. He is now 77 year old with children and grandchildren. I have no quibble about his punishment and am delighted that he has done well with his life.
A controversy in the news today concerns the publicist for the ACT Party, John Ansell, who sacked himself because the party wouldn’t use some of his copy in their advertisements. Leader Don Brash said he was tempted by some of the statements John Ansell used, but in the end toned them down. John Ansell claimed the whole party are cowards because they won’t speak ‘the truth’ about what is going on.
Without getting into the details of the controversy, here are two things we can learn about workplace communication and community dialogue from this incident.
Last week I was given a book to read called “The No Asshole Rule: