Thriving Under Fire Blog

You don't need to fight! Here's how you can switch your brain from emotional to rational.

Posted by John Faisandier on Jan 29, 2018 8:03:00 AM

A couple are commuting to work in their car. There is an easiness between them as they drive along the highway. She, quite innocently, raises the unresolved issue about the high cost of their upcoming holiday.

He experiences this question as an attack. He tenses up and goes silent. That's his usual way of coping when emotions like this arise in him. In that moment he thinks of her and this question as 100% the cause of his uncomfortable feelings.

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Topics: Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Two keys for good relationships and customer service.

Posted by John Faisandier on Apr 12, 2017 4:11:04 PM

The two key things that make a successful long-term relationship and help in customer service.

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Topics: Difficult customers, Emotional intelligence, Emotions, Relationships, Upset People

Improve your Emotional Intelligence

Posted by John Faisandier on Oct 4, 2016 1:59:38 PM

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) a concept first coined by Daniel Goleman, can be learnt and improved.

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Topics: customer service, Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotional intelligence, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Self-Care, Upset People

Say 'NO' to zero tolerance in customer service

Posted by John Faisandier on Oct 4, 2016 1:56:27 PM

In a recent review of the TUF Online Training program the writer was pleased that I did not advocate zero tolerance: not letting customers swear or show any kind of aggression. Organisations with a zero tolerance policy towards customers tell people not to swear. If the customer persists in swearing they terminate the call or stop serving them and ask them to leave the premises.

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Topics: customer service, Difficult customers, Emotions, Upset People

You don't have to fight!

Posted by John Faisandier on Sep 13, 2016 11:32:53 AM

The biggest challenge in dealing with difficult situations is to first of all manage your own emotional reactions to them. It is easy to see the other person as difficult and to blame them for your uncomfortable feelings. Acknowledging and accepting your own feelings to yourself is an important first step to making a positive response to someone who you find challenging.

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Topics: Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Computers can't do customer service...

Posted by John Faisandier on Jun 22, 2015 2:04:24 PM
Computers just don't get it!
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Topics: Acknowledge Feelings, customer service, Difficult customers, Emotion, Emotions, Listening, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Bad customer service stories

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 1:16:28 PM

The supplement in last weekend’s Dom Post in Wellington (Saturday 26 January 2013) had a feature about the terrible customers that turn up in hospitality settings and the often equally nasty things some workers do to get back at them. It was a story full of horror and negativity.
People who work in customer service, especially in hospitality can get jaded. Customers can be very difficult especially if they are affected by alcohol in bars and restaurants or highly anxious such as when travelling.

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Topics: Attitude, customer service, Debriefing, Difficult customers, Emotion, Listening, Reactions, Self-Care

They are people, not assholes

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:42:32 AM

Last week I was given a book to read called “The No Asshole Rule:

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Topics: Assholes, Conflict Resolution, Crucial Conversations, Depersonalizing, Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Difficult Internal Customers, Thriving Under Fire

Post-earthquake training

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:28:28 AM

I have just returned from Christchurch where I presented a free seminar for businesses and organisations on dealing with angry people in post earthquake Christchurch.
Participants from many sectors recognised the same stresses in their staff and customers.

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Topics: customer service, Difficult customers, Distress, Emotion, Feedback, Natural Disaster, Reactions, Stress, Thriving Under Fire, Upset People

Russell Crow kicked out of pub

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 21, 2014 11:53:59 AM

A little snippet in the paper yesterday said Russell Crow had been excluded from a pub somewhere in England because he caused too much trouble. Russell caused difficulties once before when he threw a phone at the concierge in a New York hotel. At the time he said this is how we settle things where I come from (NZ). He has to have been misquoted, surely!

What can you do when people like Russell Crow nut-off and get upset. Sometimes there's not a lot you can do but hold your own dignity. It is worth acknowledging that you see they are upset. It can be helpful to apologise that they have been put out, or the service hasn't met their expectation. This is not accepting blame for what has happened. It is letting them know they are not alone with their feelings and distress.

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Topics: Angry, Difficult customers, I'm OK You're OK, Physical Reactions, Russell Crow

Managing Emotions

Learn to deal with difficult customers, colleagues, family and friends

You probably didn't learn these skills at home, and I bet school wasn't much help either. You can develop the skills and understanding to manage the everyday emotional communication challenges through the regular postings on this blog. 

You can:

  • Access free tips to help you
  • Change the way you interact with people
  • Learn to stay calm and in control
  • Build more satisfying relationship
  • Be more relaxed in yourself
  • Enjoy your work more

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