Thriving Under Fire Blog

Convincing others and handling their objections

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 12:25:31 PM

Here is a TUF tip when speaking to individuals or to a group of people in a meeting, especially about new projects that you are wanting to introduce.
When someone asks a question or puts up an objection, you will have more chance that they will listen to you if you acknowledge the feeling or concern that is most likely behind that question. Be aware of their emotion, even if they don’t express it fully.

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Topics: Emotion, Difficult Conversations, Difficult Internal Customers, Reactions, Relationships, Sales, Thriving Under Fire

When people repeat themselves – listen!

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 12:14:54 PM

“Why is she telling me this again, I got it the first time?” Steve thought to himself as he suppressed his annoyance with Jan and wondered how he could finish the conversation quickly.
Steve didn’t realise that he was the one who was prolonging the conversation. He was sure he was listening to Jan. He made eye contact with her and gave her his full attention. He understood clearly what she was saying about the details of the new website and yet somehow she kept repeating herself. Perhaps she needed to go on a communication course.

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Topics: Emotion, Conversations, Difficult Conversations, Difficult Internal Customers, Feedback, feelings, Listening, Thriving Under Fire

They are people, not assholes

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:42:32 AM

Last week I was given a book to read called “The No Asshole Rule:

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Topics: Crucial Conversations, Assholes, Conflict Resolution, Depersonalizing, Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Difficult Internal Customers, Thriving Under Fire

Unhelpful workplace relationships — the Parent–Child dynamic

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:23:34 AM

In their book Authentic Conversations, Jamie Showkeir , Maren Showkeir and Margaret J Wheatley focus on the way workplace relationships set up a Parent–Child dynamic. The manager or supervisor is cast in the position of the parent — taking responsibility for everything that happens, including employee happiness, security, and success.
The employee is cast in the position of the child — dependant on the manager for approval, for security, and for happiness at work. In their lives outside of work, these same people own and manage properties, raise families, run clubs and otherwise take full responsibility for themselves, but at work that doesn’t seem to count for much.

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Topics: Conversations, Difficult Conversations, Difficult Internal Customers, Ego States, Relationships

Managing Emotions

Learn to deal with difficult customers, colleagues, family and friends

You probably didn't learn these skills at home, and I bet school wasn't much help either. You can develop the skills and understanding to manage the everyday emotional communication challenges through the regular postings on this blog. 

You can:

  • Access free tips to help you
  • Change the way you interact with people
  • Learn to stay calm and in control
  • Build more satisfying relationship
  • Be more relaxed in yourself
  • Enjoy your work more

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