Did you know, that when you smile and attend to somebody by listening, you activate the mirror neuron receptors in their brains?
A study on sentencing judges found that the judges were more lenient after taking a break, or early in the morning.
In quoting this study, Dr Emily Beausoleil of Massey University Wellington suggested that at these times when you are relaxed and not so stressed you will be more sympathetic to hearing what the other person is saying.
Dr Emily Beausoleil of Massey University at a recent talk asked the Wellington branch of Human Resources Institute of New Zealand; What can you do differently to listen so that others will talk about what is important to them?
Julie came barging into her manager’s office. “OMG – we have a crisis. The customer at the counter is very upset and I don’t know what to do?”
Setting boundaries is a real challenge if you want to build strong relationships with colleagues, especially if you are a manager.
How many monkeys are on your back?
A listener can be tempted to take on the problems of those they listen to. They can end up carrying everyone’s problems without realising what they have done.
I was doing a big ‘download’ recently with a friend. I seemed to have a jumble of problems that I needed to name out loud. At first he offered a suggestion to each thing I said: “Have you tried this…” or “It could help if you …”
Listening can be the hardest part of a being a great manager or colleague.
There is always a lot going on in the other person’s life that they are trying to understand, make sense of and cope with.
Marilyn the manager was exasperated.
“If we can’t blame people for screwing things up how are we ever going to hold people accountable? The place will descend into chaos” she moaned.
Why blame is such a silly thing to do!