Thriving Under Fire Blog

You don't need to fight! Here's how you can switch your brain from emotional to rational.

Posted by John Faisandier on Jan 29, 2018 8:03:00 AM

A couple are commuting to work in their car. There is an easiness between them as they drive along the highway. She, quite innocently, raises the unresolved issue about the high cost of their upcoming holiday.

He experiences this question as an attack. He tenses up and goes silent. That's his usual way of coping when emotions like this arise in him. In that moment he thinks of her and this question as 100% the cause of his uncomfortable feelings.

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Topics: Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Three things you can do when someone asks for advice

Posted by John Faisandier on May 15, 2017 3:05:50 PM

(Reading time: 3 minutes)

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Topics: Difficult Conversations, Drama Triangle, Emotional Intelligence, Emotional intelligence, Emotions, EQ, Giving advice, Trust the other

Two keys for good relationships and customer service.

Posted by John Faisandier on Apr 12, 2017 4:11:04 PM

The two key things that make a successful long-term relationship and help in customer service.

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Topics: Difficult customers, Emotional intelligence, Emotions, Relationships, Upset People

Improve your Emotional Intelligence

Posted by John Faisandier on Oct 4, 2016 1:59:38 PM

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) a concept first coined by Daniel Goleman, can be learnt and improved.

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Topics: customer service, Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotional intelligence, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Self-Care, Upset People

Say 'NO' to zero tolerance in customer service

Posted by John Faisandier on Oct 4, 2016 1:56:27 PM

In a recent review of the TUF Online Training program the writer was pleased that I did not advocate zero tolerance: not letting customers swear or show any kind of aggression. Organisations with a zero tolerance policy towards customers tell people not to swear. If the customer persists in swearing they terminate the call or stop serving them and ask them to leave the premises.

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Topics: customer service, Difficult customers, Emotions, Upset People

You don't have to fight!

Posted by John Faisandier on Sep 13, 2016 11:32:53 AM

The biggest challenge in dealing with difficult situations is to first of all manage your own emotional reactions to them. It is easy to see the other person as difficult and to blame them for your uncomfortable feelings. Acknowledging and accepting your own feelings to yourself is an important first step to making a positive response to someone who you find challenging.

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Topics: Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotions, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Computers can't do customer service...

Posted by John Faisandier on Jun 22, 2015 2:04:24 PM
Computers just don't get it!
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Topics: Acknowledge Feelings, customer service, Difficult customers, Emotion, Emotions, Listening, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Turning towards, against or away

Posted by John Faisandier on Feb 11, 2015 1:53:14 PM

Three actions that help or hinder happy holidays.

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Topics: Emotions, Physical Reactions, Upset People

Valentine's Day 2013

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 2:11:18 PM

Whatever you may think about Valentine’s Day there is a degree of excitement around. I heard people renewing their vows to their partners on the radio this morning. People give red roses, chocolates, special meals and many other signs of their love today.
Anything that get’s people to relate better to each other is good in my book. Building positive relationships needs to be worked at. Just as with a loving relationship you need to say and do things to let the other person know they are loved, respected and valued.

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Topics: Acknowledge Feelings, Conversations, customer service, Difficult People, Emotion, Emotions, Life Positions, Perspective, Relationships

Saying how they feel

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:08:37 AM

When I rang my friend in Christchurch the other night, his 13 year old son answered the phone. “You must have got quite a shake up by the earthquake” I said. “Nah, not really, it was nothing”, he shot back offhandedly. I was taken aback but didn't pursue the conversation at the time.
Later his father told me that he had stopped his son making inappropriate jokes about the earthquake. At that point I saw clearly how this was the boy’s way of dealing with the scary shake.

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Topics: Emotion, Emotions, Grief, Listening, Natural Disaster, Reactions, Stress

Managing Emotions

Learn to deal with difficult customers, colleagues, family and friends

You probably didn't learn these skills at home, and I bet school wasn't much help either. You can develop the skills and understanding to manage the everyday emotional communication challenges through the regular postings on this blog. 

You can:

  • Access free tips to help you
  • Change the way you interact with people
  • Learn to stay calm and in control
  • Build more satisfying relationship
  • Be more relaxed in yourself
  • Enjoy your work more

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