Setting boundaries is a real challenge if you want to build strong relationships with colleagues, especially if you are a manager.
How many monkeys are on your back?
A listener can be tempted to take on the problems of those they listen to. They can end up carrying everyone’s problems without realising what they have done.
I was doing a big ‘download’ recently with a friend. I seemed to have a jumble of problems that I needed to name out loud. At first he offered a suggestion to each thing I said: “Have you tried this…” or “It could help if you …”
Listening can be the hardest part of a being a great manager or colleague.
There is always a lot going on in the other person’s life that they are trying to understand, make sense of and cope with.
Marilyn the manager was exasperated.
“If we can’t blame people for screwing things up how are we ever going to hold people accountable? The place will descend into chaos” she moaned.
Why blame is such a silly thing to do!
The supplement in last weekend’s Dom Post in Wellington (Saturday 26 January 2013) had a feature about the terrible customers that turn up in hospitality settings and the often equally nasty things some workers do to get back at them. It was a story full of horror and negativity.
People who work in customer service, especially in hospitality can get jaded. Customers can be very difficult especially if they are affected by alcohol in bars and restaurants or highly anxious such as when travelling.
Another missed moment at the luxury resort which said they were ‘all about YOU”
The housekeeping staff were very friendly and pleasant of course. When my wife mentioned to the cleaner that there were bits of white fluff on the carpet from something we had dropped she replied "Don't worry, I'll give it a good vacuum when you go".