Thriving Under Fire Blog

Tuesday TUF Tips | Good Listeners Don't Get Sucked In

Posted by John Faisandier on May 15, 2018 10:48:54 AM

Setting boundaries is a real challenge if you want to build strong relationships with colleagues, especially if you are a manager. 

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Topics: Emotional intelligence, Physical Reactions, Conflict Resolution, Listening, staying calm

Tuesday TUF Tips | Monkeys on Your Back – A Trap for Caring Listeners

Posted by John Faisandier on May 8, 2018 7:21:00 AM

How many monkeys are on your back?

A listener can be tempted to take on the problems of those they listen to. They can end up carrying everyone’s problems without realising what they have done.

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Topics: Emotional intelligence, Physical Reactions, Conflict Resolution, Listening, staying calm

Tuesday TUF Tips | Listen - Don't Rescue

Posted by John Faisandier on May 2, 2018 8:50:25 AM

I was doing a big ‘download’ recently with a friend. I seemed to have a jumble of problems that I needed to name out loud. At first he offered a suggestion to each thing I said: “Have you tried this…” or “It could help if you …”

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Topics: Emotional intelligence, Physical Reactions, Conflict Resolution, Listening, staying calm

Tuesday TUF Tips | The Power of Listening

Posted by John Faisandier on Apr 24, 2018 4:55:28 PM

Listening can be the hardest part of a being a great manager or colleague.

There is always a lot going on in the other person’s life that they are trying to understand, make sense of and cope with.

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Topics: Emotional intelligence, Physical Reactions, Conflict Resolution, Listening, staying calm

Tuesday TUF Tips | Step out of the Blame Game

Posted by John Faisandier on Apr 18, 2018 3:16:39 PM

 Marilyn the manager was exasperated.

“If we can’t blame people for screwing things up how are we ever going to hold people accountable? The place will descend into chaos” she moaned.

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Topics: Emotional intelligence, Physical Reactions, Conflict Resolution, Listening, staying calm

Tuesday TUF Tips | Who's to Blame?

Posted by John Faisandier on Apr 3, 2018 3:46:15 PM

 

Why blame is such a silly thing to do!

In a sales training workshop I was running a participant argued that if he made a mistake with an order it was his fault, and his fault alone. I had been teaching systems thinking and how blame was not helpful for business.
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Topics: Emotional intelligence, Physical Reactions, Conflict Resolution, Listening, staying calm

Tuesday TUF Tips | Blame... Don't Do it!

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 28, 2018 10:28:56 AM

Whose fault is it!!? Who’s to blame!!?

Heads should roll!!!!

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Topics: Emotional intelligence, Physical Reactions, Conflict Resolution, Listening, staying calm

You don't need to fight! Here's how you can switch your brain from emotional to rational.

Posted by John Faisandier on Jan 29, 2018 8:03:00 AM

A couple are commuting to work in their car. There is an easiness between them as they drive along the highway. She, quite innocently, raises the unresolved issue about the high cost of their upcoming holiday.

He experiences this question as an attack. He tenses up and goes silent. That's his usual way of coping when emotions like this arise in him. In that moment he thinks of her and this question as 100% the cause of his uncomfortable feelings.

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Topics: Physical Reactions, Upset People, Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotions

How One Man Defused a Situation with One Very Simple Skill... 

Posted by John Faisandier on Jan 18, 2018 11:41:22 AM

It's very easy to respond to aggression with aggression... but what if we reacted differently?

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Topics: Angry, APE, Emotion, Physical Reactions, Upset People, Sceptical

Improve your Emotional Intelligence

Posted by John Faisandier on Oct 4, 2016 1:59:38 PM

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) a concept first coined by Daniel Goleman, can be learnt and improved.

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Topics: customer service, Emotional intelligence, Physical Reactions, Upset People, Difficult Conversations, Difficult customers, Emotions, Self-Care

Managing Emotions

Learn to deal with difficult customers, colleagues, family and friends

You probably didn't learn these skills at home, and I bet school wasn't much help either. You can develop the skills and understanding to manage the everyday emotional communication challenges through the regular postings on this blog. 

You can:

  • Access free tips to help you
  • Change the way you interact with people
  • Learn to stay calm and in control
  • Build more satisfying relationship
  • Be more relaxed in yourself
  • Enjoy your work more

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