Thriving Under Fire Blog

Tuesday TUF Tips | How do you Say Sorry?

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 20, 2018 2:52:25 PM

There are many moments when you can upset people in the workplace. When someone is hurt or upset they have an emotional reaction. They might pull away from you or they might attack you in some way, even when you didn’t intend to hurt them.

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Topics: Upset Staff, TV, Upset People, Relationships, Reactions, Perspective, Empathy, Emotional Intelligence, Acknowledge Feelings, emotional intelligence training

Tuesday TUF Tips | Acknowledge the Emotion

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 13, 2018 9:05:44 AM

A man walks into … his manager’s office. His face is red, hands shaking and eyes nearly popping out of his head. He is mad about something! “This new directive is just nonsense!” He roars.

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Topics: Upset Staff, Upset People, staying calm, Reactions, Perspective, Empathy, Emotional Intelligence, APE, Emotions at work

Bad customer service stories

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 1:16:28 PM

The supplement in last weekend’s Dom Post in Wellington (Saturday 26 January 2013) had a feature about the terrible customers that turn up in hospitality settings and the often equally nasty things some workers do to get back at them. It was a story full of horror and negativity.
People who work in customer service, especially in hospitality can get jaded. Customers can be very difficult especially if they are affected by alcohol in bars and restaurants or highly anxious such as when travelling.

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Topics: Attitude, customer service, Debriefing, Difficult customers, Emotion, Listening, Reactions, Self-Care

It's all about YOU - the customer, Yeah Right!

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 12:39:45 PM

I recently stayed at a luxury resort as a birthday gift from my family. It was a lovely place and we had a relaxing time except for one thing that I was struck by.
Their by-line was "We're all about YOU". Great I thought, I will be looked after here.

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Topics: Acknowledge Feelings, customer service, Emotion, Listening, Reactions, Upset People

Convincing others and handling their objections

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 12:25:31 PM

Here is a TUF tip when speaking to individuals or to a group of people in a meeting, especially about new projects that you are wanting to introduce.
When someone asks a question or puts up an objection, you will have more chance that they will listen to you if you acknowledge the feeling or concern that is most likely behind that question. Be aware of their emotion, even if they don’t express it fully.

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Topics: Difficult Conversations, Difficult Internal Customers, Emotion, Reactions, Relationships, Sales, Thriving Under Fire

Post-earthquake training

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:28:28 AM

I have just returned from Christchurch where I presented a free seminar for businesses and organisations on dealing with angry people in post earthquake Christchurch.
Participants from many sectors recognised the same stresses in their staff and customers.

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Topics: customer service, Difficult customers, Distress, Emotion, Feedback, Natural Disaster, Reactions, Stress, Thriving Under Fire, Upset People

Survivors need to talk — we need to listen

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:12:55 AM

My nephew Scott Garvie, a Wellington plumber (see Scotty’s Potties), volunteered to work for a week in earthquake-stricken Christchurch. He discovered that people needed to talk even more than they needed their plumbing fixed — and listening became harder than fixing their toilets! My own experience of talking on the phone with friends from Christchurch confirms this. People who have gone through severe shocks, like the earthquake, desperately want to talk about their experiences.
This makes being a good listener so important.

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Topics: Distress, Emotion, Grief, Listening, Natural Disaster, Reactions, Upset People

Saying how they feel

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 24, 2014 11:08:37 AM

When I rang my friend in Christchurch the other night, his 13 year old son answered the phone. “You must have got quite a shake up by the earthquake” I said. “Nah, not really, it was nothing”, he shot back offhandedly. I was taken aback but didn't pursue the conversation at the time.
Later his father told me that he had stopped his son making inappropriate jokes about the earthquake. At that point I saw clearly how this was the boy’s way of dealing with the scary shake.

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Topics: Emotion, Emotions, Grief, Listening, Natural Disaster, Reactions, Stress

Managing Emotions

Learn to deal with difficult customers, colleagues, family and friends

You probably didn't learn these skills at home, and I bet school wasn't much help either. You can develop the skills and understanding to manage the everyday emotional communication challenges through the regular postings on this blog. 

You can:

  • Access free tips to help you
  • Change the way you interact with people
  • Learn to stay calm and in control
  • Build more satisfying relationship
  • Be more relaxed in yourself
  • Enjoy your work more

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