Thriving Under Fire Blog

Two keys for good relationships and customer service.

Posted by John Faisandier on Apr 12, 2017 12:11:04 AM

The two key things that make a successful long-term relationship and help in customer service.

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Topics: Emotional intelligence, Upset People, Difficult customers, Emotions, Relationships

Valentine's Day 2013

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 23, 2014 9:11:18 PM

Whatever you may think about Valentine’s Day there is a degree of excitement around. I heard people renewing their vows to their partners on the radio this morning. People give red roses, chocolates, special meals and many other signs of their love today.
Anything that get’s people to relate better to each other is good in my book. Building positive relationships needs to be worked at. Just as with a loving relationship you need to say and do things to let the other person know they are loved, respected and valued.

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Topics: customer service, Acknowledge Feelings, Emotion, Conversations, Difficult People, Emotions, Life Positions, Perspective, Relationships

Weak apologies are poor customer service

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 23, 2014 8:31:52 PM

A story in the Dominion Post this morning (February 4, 2013) sparked my interest. It is fifty years since a young man, high on alcohol and tranquilizers shot two policemen in cold blood.
He served over 11 years in jail and another 10 years on probation and has since lived a productive life, it would appear. He is now 77 year old with children and grandchildren. I have no quibble about his punishment and am delighted that he has done well with his life.

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Topics: customer service, Crucial Conversations, Emotion, Conflict Resolution, Difficult Conversations, Grief, Relationships, Thriving Under Fire

Empathy stronger than gun law reform

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 23, 2014 7:35:14 PM

Adam Lanza the gunman who caused such carnage in Newtown Connecticut was a loner. It was difficult for people to show him empathy and difficult for him to receive it. But that is what he needed most from the ordinary people around him.
While changing the gun laws will restrict access to these lethal weapons and may reduce the number of incidents of shootings in America, changing the way we show empathy is a more sustainable way to change the hearts and minds of others and make the world a safe and peaceful place.

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Topics: customer service, Crucial Conversations, Emotion, High School Shootings, Physical Reactions, sensitivity, Difficult People, Empathy, Listening, Relationships

Convincing others and handling their objections

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 23, 2014 7:25:31 PM

Here is a TUF tip when speaking to individuals or to a group of people in a meeting, especially about new projects that you are wanting to introduce.
When someone asks a question or puts up an objection, you will have more chance that they will listen to you if you acknowledge the feeling or concern that is most likely behind that question. Be aware of their emotion, even if they don’t express it fully.

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Topics: Emotion, Difficult Conversations, Difficult Internal Customers, Reactions, Relationships, Sales, Thriving Under Fire

Workplace Communication: Simple or Complex?

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 23, 2014 7:21:28 PM

A controversy in the news today concerns the publicist for the ACT Party, John Ansell, who sacked himself because the party wouldn’t use some of his copy in their advertisements. Leader Don Brash said he was tempted by some of the statements John Ansell used, but in the end toned them down. John Ansell claimed the whole party are cowards because they won’t speak ‘the truth’ about what is going on.
Without getting into the details of the controversy, here are two things we can learn about workplace communication and community dialogue from this incident.

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Topics: Crucial Conversations, Emotion, Conflict Resolution, Difficult Conversations, Don Brash, Feedback, John Ansell, Listening, Perspective, Relationships, Role Models

Unhelpful workplace relationships — the Parent–Child dynamic

Posted by John Faisandier on Mar 23, 2014 6:23:34 PM

In their book Authentic Conversations, Jamie Showkeir , Maren Showkeir and Margaret J Wheatley focus on the way workplace relationships set up a Parent–Child dynamic. The manager or supervisor is cast in the position of the parent — taking responsibility for everything that happens, including employee happiness, security, and success.
The employee is cast in the position of the child — dependant on the manager for approval, for security, and for happiness at work. In their lives outside of work, these same people own and manage properties, raise families, run clubs and otherwise take full responsibility for themselves, but at work that doesn’t seem to count for much.

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Topics: Conversations, Difficult Conversations, Difficult Internal Customers, Ego States, Relationships

Managing Emotions

Learn to deal with difficult customers, colleagues, family and friends

You probably didn't learn these skills at home, and I bet school wasn't much help either. You can develop the skills and understanding to manage the everyday emotional communication challenges through the regular postings on this blog. 

You can:

  • Access free tips to help you
  • Change the way you interact with people
  • Learn to stay calm and in control
  • Build more satisfying relationship
  • Be more relaxed in yourself
  • Enjoy your work more

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